Nobody's Perfect

What did I learn in Pisay?

Hrm. That is a question that inspires a multitude of answers. In the four years that I spent in Pisay, I learned about calculus, GNP deflators, why urine is sexy and a whole lot more. But that’s probably not the answer you’re looking for, so I won’t bother you with all the gruesome details. Instead, I’ll share with you what I consider one of the most meaningful lessons Pisay has imparted to me.

There was a time during my Pisay life when I picked up the habit of comparing myself to anyone and everyone. There was always something about someone to be envious about, be it smarts, social status, even looks. I found myself constantly thinking:

“Buti pa si ganyan, uno sa Math kahiit di nag-aaral.”
or “Andaming friends ni ganoon, di tulad ko, loner.”
… and then “Sana kasinggaling ko si ganito mag-violin.”

Studying in the country’s premier high school, I was bound to meet loads of amazing, talented and brainy people. I couldn’t help but feel a bit dwarfed and just a tad undeserving. There were thoughts nagging at the back of my head, reminding me of things that only served to further my own insecurity. It became worse, until I became so preoccupied with my own faults that I forgot to count my blessings.

I guess there just comes a point in a person’s life when one starts to question one’s own capabilities. Even people who’ve become masters of their craft are sometimes shaken by that seemingly universal feeling of inadequacy. Maybe this inferiority complex thing is hardwired into our brains, deeply engrained into the human psyche. Or maybe it’s just God’s way of telling us to change for the better.

But anyway, I digress. In retrospect, I realize that I was a very sad person. In fact, that’s kind of an understatement. While everyone else was improving on themselves and becoming better people, I was left behind, wallowing in self-pity.

Eventually though, I got tired of sulking around. It won’t get me anywhere anyway, so I decided to get off my butt and start being productive.

Well, up until now, I still experience the occasional bouts of emo-ness. But instead of falling back into that pit of depression again, I simply remind myself that nobody can be perfect. Not me, not you, not everyone else. However, despite that, we should all strive to be the best individuals that we can be, while acknowledging our limits at the same time (because there’s such a thing as pushing yourself too hard).

Though I fail at Econ (and school… and maybe life in general), and it’s not exactly something to be proud of, I realized that it’s things like these that are meant to be cherished. Because, hey, this is who I am, and I ought to be grateful for that.

We can’t be the best at everything… but that’s perfectly fine. :)

-Bingbong Austria