No Man Is An Island

In the four years that I've studied in Pisay, I learned that no man is an island.

No matter how intelligent you are, or no matter how intelligent you think you are, there will come a point/points in time when you would need people to rely on --for homework, for groupwork, for favors, as outlets, and whatnot. This is when you say, that's what friends are for right? And indeed, that's what friends are for. Interestingly, in my four years here, I also learned that, whether we consciously think about it or not, we all have our hierarchy of friends, depending on their closeness to us. You can think of these hierarchies as concentric circles, getting smaller and smaller, with you as the center.

Skipping the FC (feeling close) category, first up are those friends you make in class. These type of friends may be the people who are transiently valuable to you (and your academics hehe), for these are the people whom you are stuck with (for a year at least). Being classmates, these are the friends you'd most likely group with during group works, ask questions from regarding deadlines, and copy notes from among other things. They're the people you see day in and day out, from 7:30 in the morning up til around 4 in the afternoon. You endure the wrath of your teachers together, scurry through the travails of schoolwork, as well as enjoy the fun moments in class. Occasionally, you share stuff with each other under the notion that nothing comes out of the four walls of the classroom. And that's how your friendship with each other grows.

Eventually, friends you make in class could develop into friends. Basically the only difference from the former is that you continue to share a bond, be it through a joke, an experience or whatever, that is beyond the realm of the classroom. But the differences end there. In fact, this category, for formalities sake, is for the people who actually manage to befriend you, even without being your classmate.

Then there are those friends you actually look forward to see or talk to. This type of friends would be your good friends. You are more open to them since you have learned, with time, to be more comfortable with them, and even trust them. More often than not, you have quite a lot of things in common with your good friends, and these similarities enable you to do things -- such as play sports, read books, pass away idle time -- together. Of course you don't gain these types of friends in a jiffy. In fact, you may have to invest some of your time and trust to be able to get such friends. Rest assured that good friends are worth the investment, for they will always be there for you, especially when you least expect them.

There are rare instances when you make special friends around campus. No, they're not the kind whom you call autistic, jeer at, and/or otherwise pity. Rather, they are the type who makes you feel warm, foolish, and charmed all at the same time. Some would go as far as to call it a state of mutual understanding, but most conservatives still try to mask it under the tag “special friends”. Whatever you name it though, the person who belongs to this category holds a special place in your heart, which, if fuelled may even grow into something more than friendship.

Next in the hierarchy are your best friends. They are closer to you than your good friends in the sense that they have endured the test of time, and you have a deeper understanding of one another. You tell them anything and everything because you know you can. And even when you don’t say anything to each other, sometimes you just know if anything is up, because, well, you’re best friends. You experience life together, through hell or high water and these best friends are the friends who are never afraid to stab you in the front. Most would end their hierarchy there, but I think that the last in the hierarchy would have to be your true friends.

And this type of friend, I believe is the rarest because these are your best friends who have withstood the test of the test of time (that’s right, the test of the test of time). They are the friends who stay, even after seeing the darkest aspect of you, which is to say that they really know you, inside and out. Such a level of friendship is achieved upon the realization and acceptance that infinite distances exist even between the closest of friends. Yet what’s wonderful about it is that the friendship still lasts, and has become naturally self-sustaining. This though, in my opinion, is the farthest you can go, in terms of friendship. Anything beyond this point would fall under the jurisdiction of romantic love, and I think you’d better consult a priest and perhaps start buying your engagement ring for that.

Now to cap off this entry, I’d like to leave you with a saying to ponder on, and it goes: “No matter how rare true love is, true friendship is rarer.”